In the not-to-distant past, you and your lady were the definition of lust — on every level.
But lately, things feel less solid; an undeniable distance is growing between you.
At this point, you’re unsure if you’ll still be together next week.
On the one hand, relationships mature, and the initial sizzle almost always fades.
On the other hand, when people begin to fall out of “like or love,” they behave differently.
So today, we’re breaking down signs she is not sexually attracted to you any longer.
13 Signs That Your Girlfriend Isn’t Sexually Attracted to You
Before we dive into the signs a woman is not attracted to you, let’s review a few cautions.
For starters, remember that every relationship and person is different.
Your girlfriend occasionally exhibiting some of these signs is not the end of the world.
We all have our moody-blues days.
Secondly, one-off behaviors aren’t reliable. You needn’t start worrying until concerning actions become perpetual patterns.
Caveats in place, let’s discuss how to tell if your partner is not sexually attracted to you.
1. She No Longer Wants To Have Sex
Every time you flip on the playlist, light some candles, and slip into your sexiest mood, your lady turns into a slot machine jackpot of excuses. She’s too tired; she has work to do; she doesn’t feel well; Jupiter isn’t aligned with Venus in the Seventh House.
If the sex has slowed to a snail’s pace, apropos of nothing, it’s likely a sign her attraction is waning.
But don’t cling to negative conclusions. Most couples’ sex lives follow a downward trajectory the longer they’re together.
As the months and years pass, things peter off. The statistics are all over the place. About 31% of mature, coupled-up adults claim to make love several times a week; 33% report they rarely, if ever, have a roll in the hay; the rest fall somewhere in between.
Also, remember that stress and illness can decimate a person’s sex drive. Your partner’s limp libido may have nothing to do with you.
2. She’s Suddenly Flirting With Other People
It’s reached a point where, at times, you’re embarrassed at how much your partner flirts with other people in your presence. Friend reports may even be funneling back to you that she’s dripping all over people when you’re not around.
Look, we are in no way suggesting that women shouldn’t flirt. It’s a personality style and, in and of itself, is nothing to worry about if she was “born that way.”
But you may want to raise an eyebrow or two if it’s something new. Plus, it could be a sign that she is no longer weak in the knees when looking into your eyes.
3. She Pulls Away When You Touch Her
You try to pull her close or rub her shoulders but feel her body cringing or pulling away. Sure, she may just be startled. Or, her coldness could signal that her physical affection is diminishing.
Does it happen often? When you’re alone? If you answered yes to both questions, it might be time to step back and think of other red flags that have reared their crushing heads in recent weeks.
4. Cuddling Has Become a Thing of the Past
You were intertwined octopuses when you first got together. If you weren’t working, cooking, or eating, you were entangled in each others’ arms — even in the shower.
These days, though, a gap the size of the Great Rift Valley separates you on the couch, and you genuinely can’t remember the last time you snuggled under the same blanket.
Again, as relationships mature, the sizzle is often replaced with steady and deep affection, which is a positive thing. But if you’ve been together for less than a year, and things are already slipping downhill, that’s not a great sign.
5. You’re Spending Less Time Together
Are you still in the dating stage? If so, when was the last time you spent quality time together? The partnership may be heading south if it’s been more than a couple of weeks.
Note, however, that we specified the “dating stage.” Why? Because once you get married and start having kids, life gets impossibly busy, and finding time to date can be as difficult as finding a vegan butcher.
6. You Have To Initiate Everything…Always
Relationships are about give and take in multiple arenas. So if you find yourself having to initiate every intimate encounter, start to ask questions.
Is it a matter of conflicting schedules? Is your partner navigating a challenging period riddled with work or familial stressors? Or perhaps your partner hasn’t been feeling well.
If not, the lack of effort may indicate that your partner is no longer attracted to you.
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7. She Doesn’t Try When You Do Have Sex
You’re still having sex every once in a while, but when you do, you must double-check that your partner hasn’t transformed into a blow-up doll. In the past, your intimacy was hot; but lately, it’s the definition of “not.” She barely moves, and you’re certain she’s faking her orgasms just to rush things along.
Couples who’ve been together for a while may fall into sexual pits, which is perfectly normal. But people in healthy relationships who value intimacy usually find their way back to satisfying sex.
8. She’s Kicked Her Nitpicking Up a Notch
It’s gotten to a point where you’re almost fearful of making plans because you know you’ll have to endure criticism and nitpicking the entire evening. She’ll have an issue with your sock-shoe combination, how your hair is styled, the restaurant you chose, the topic of conversation, and everything in between.
Don’t jump to negative conclusions if this happens one night. She may have had a terrible day, and we can all be a bit unbearable and hypercritical after weathering a 24- or 48-hour storm. Moodiness frequently morphs us into monsters.
But if it’s become a pattern, it may be time to put your fishing pole back in that proverbial sea.
9. Her Eyes Aren’t Filled With Love
It may sound cliche, but the eyes are truly windows to the soul.
Are her eyes empty and dead when she looks at you? Has the spark been extinguished? Has she turned into the welterweight champion of side-eyeing and disdainful glances?
Couples get into disagreements, and “giving face” is part of bickering. But if it’s become a constant occurrence, there’s a better-than-average chance that your lady may not be feeling you as much as she once did.
10. Your Conversations Aren’t Intimate
We’re not referring to “talking dirty,” but instead, “talking deeply.”
If your conversations no longer plumb the depths of your emotions, and mundane chit-chat is the new standard, the zest may be out of the relationship. When we care about people, we value their thoughts and feelings and support them through whatever may come.
So, if she’s not sharing her inner life with you anymore, take it as a red-alert sign that the mental attraction you once shared is dwindling.
11. She Stops Mentioning You on Social Media
Once upon a time, you and she were the king and queen of each others’ social media accounts. She constantly posted pictures of you, shouted you out, and left loving comments on your posts.
But lately, you find yourself checking to make sure she’s still following you. And you forget the last time you starred in one of her pictures.
It may sound petty, but a lack of social media praise can be a glaring sign that your girlfriend is almost ready to bounce out of the relationship.
12. Her Body Language Screams, “Closed for Business”
The importance of verbal communication in a relationship cannot be underestimated. As they say, it’s the backbone of every healthy union. However, between 70% and 90% of human communication is non-verbal. How we move, position our bodies, gesture, and facially react plays a massive role in understanding one another.
So pay attention to her body language. Is she always turning away from you? Does she keep her arms folded in front of her when you’re talking? Moreover, does she keep a wide berth between the two of you? If so, she may be losing her lust for you.
That said, try not to freak out if it’s an occasional thing. Sometimes, body language cues amount to nothing. Who knows, she could have a hemorrhoid and is therefore favoring one “cheek.” If it becomes a pattern, then you can start worrying.
13. She Tells You So
Believe people when they tell you something. Don’t make excuses; take their words at face value.
To state it bluntly: If the person you’re dating has indicated they’re not as into you as they once were, take it on the chin, lick your wounds, and move on. You deserve someone whose heart skips a beat when in your presence.
As we said above, none of these are surefire clues. After all, every relationship has unique contours. But if the red flags pile up, it may be time to spread your wings and fly away from the union. However you look at it, life is either too short or long to spend it with someone who’s just going through the motions.